Down to Earth But Heavenly Minded

The grand point in dealing with children is to insist upon obedience. It is of great importance. If this be carried out from the very first, it will save a world of trouble to both parents and children.

Children are called to yield implicit obedience to their parents. This is their divine role. Parents are to beware of provoking their children to wrath by arbitrary conduct, by exhibiting partiality towards one more than another, and by needless crossing of the will of the child merely to make a display of parental authority. The child should ever see that the parent has his real interest at heart and that true love is the motive spring of every act. But we must insist on the obedience of children, even in this age of independence — an age specially marked by disobedience to parents and by gross disrespect.

Many of the young people of the present day seem to regard their parents as belonging to the old school and being deficient in education. Hence, the readiness to contradict their parents and set up their own opinion. All this is unnatural and ungodly. It ought not to be tolerated. And we may also add a hint as to the very objectionable habit adopted by many young people of calling their father and mother by heartless, objectionable names. We would entreat all our young friends to watch against these things and against the spirit from which they proceed, and to cultivate a reverential spirit which will surely lead to a respectful manner towards their parents. It is a good proof of a good education when children respect their parents. Need we add that in all matters where God’s authority is concerned, it must rise above all other claims! Oh, for the adjusting power of grace and truth!

We cannot understand how anyone calling himself a Christian parent can adopt a system of harsh and cruel treatment towards his children. It can only result in making them liars and infidels. They will tell lies to escape the strap. They will despise the religion which stands connected with such inordinate severity. Such treatment as you describe is more worthy of a cruel slavemaster than of a Christian parent. There are cases in which some discipline is necessary, but it should be administered in such a way as to convince the child that it is only for his good and not the fruit of bad temper or of arbitrary severity. The rod should be most reluctantly lifted. It should be the very last resource. In short, the Christian parent should ever keep before him as his model his heavenly Father’s dealings with himself. Does He inflict punishment for confessed sin? The thought is blasphemy. He only chastens in love, to make us partakers of His holiness. It grieves Him to have to use the rod. “His soul was grieved for the misery of Israel.” This should be the Christian parent’s pattern.

We do not believe in the everlasting whipping system. It only hardens and brutalizes. And we would further add, dear friend, that the father and the mother should be wholly one in the administration of discipline. For a child to have to appeal to one parent to shield him from the other, reveals a condition of things in the domestic circle perfectly shocking to every well-regulated mind. The father and mother should not have a single divergent thought in reference to the system of training. They should appear before their children as one authority, one influence. The firmness of the father and the tenderness of the mother should be so sweetly blended that their joint action might be felt in the entire system of training. But how is all this to be realized? By the parents being much on their knees together before God. This is the true secret of domestic training. If the father and mother do not pray together, they will not act together; and if they do not act together, the education of the children must suffer. May the Lord in His infinite goodness help all Christian parents to discharge aright their high and holy functions so His name may be glorified in the households of His people!

We do not see any difficulty as to the term “children” in Ephesians 6:1. In the entire context, the Holy Spirit is exhorting Christians in their various relationships to discharge the functions given them therein. Only Christians are addressed or exhorted in the epistles. Hence it follows that the “children” here addressed are Christians. Christian parents are exhorted to bring up their children in the discipline and admonition of the Lord. This takes in all our children whom we are to train from the very beginning for the Lord, counting on Him for them, and He will never fail a trusting heart. We are to take God’s ground for our children in the entire system of moral training from their birth. He will assuredly honor the faith that thus counts on Him for the children and trains the children for Him. He cannot deny Himself, blessed forever be His holy name!

1 Corinthians 7:14 stands in contrast with the Mosaic enactment which obliged men to put away, not only strange wives, but the offspring of mixed marriages. It is now not a question of the practical state of the children themselves — whether they are saved or not saved. The passage simply states that the children were sanctified by the fact of their relationship with the believing parent and need not therefore be put away. But the idea of building upon such a passage the monstrous error that the children of Christian parents are saved, as such, without the quickening grace of the Holy Spirit, is too gross to need a moment’s consideration.

We can assure you of our hearty sympathy and interest in the subject of your letter. Your path is very simple. You have only to train your dear children for God and count on God for your children. The Spirit of God alone can make a child understand divine things, and it is not for us to fix a limit as to the precise age at which a child can take in the truth of God. It is the Spirit’s work. He can make babes as well as mature people understand. A little child is the very model on which every person must be formed who will enter the kingdom of God.

We believe that Matthew 18:10-14 furnishes the foundation of the precious truth of the salvation of infants. Do you not believe this? Are you not fully persuaded that all who die in infancy are saved? That inasmuch as their little bodies undergo the penalty of Adam’s sin, their precious souls partake of the benefit of Christ’s atonement! Well, if you believe this, why should your heart be troubled as to the destiny of your infant child in the event of the Lord’s coming? Can you not fully trust that blessed One who, in the days of His flesh, said with such touching tenderness, “Suffer the little children to come to Me and forbid them not; for of such is the kingdom of God?” Can your heart entertain for a moment the unworthy thought that your gracious Lord, when He comes for His people, could take the mother to be with Himself and leave her babe behind to perish?

You ask if we “can tell you of any Scripture which shows what becomes of the infant children of believers when the Lord takes His Church to Himself.” We reply, Matthew 18:10-14. “Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say to you, that in heaven their angels do always behold the face of My Father which is in heaven. For the Son of man is come to save that which was lost. See note. How think ye? if a man have an hundred sheep and one of them be gone astray, doth he not leave the ninety and nine, and goes into the mountains and seeks that which is gone astray? And if so be that he find it, verily I say to you, he rejoices more of that, than of the ninety and nine which went not astray. Even so it is not the will of your Father which is in heaven, that one of these little ones should perish.”

{Note: In Luke 19:10, where it is not a question of infants, we read, “The Son of Man is come to seek and to save that which was lost.” End of note.}

Now, dear friend, is not this a precious answer to your question? Is it not divinely calculated to hush all your anxiety in reference to your precious babe in the event of the Lord’s coming? Do you think the loving Savior who uttered these words, will ignore them when He comes for His Church? The very thought is blasphemy. Ah! no; our loving Lord will be fully glorified in receiving to His bosom and taking to His home the infant children of His people, as well as the parents. It is not His will now, and it cannot be His will then, that one of these little ones should perish. May your heart find settled rest as to this question in the eternal truth of God and in the rich and precious grace which shines so brightly and blessedly in Matthew 18:10-14.