Down to Earth But Heavenly Minded

What does Proverbs Chapter 5 mean?

Advice in Proverbs often comes in the form of warnings. Those are especially aimed at what happens when a person gives in to sin in general: listing the risks associated with ignoring godly wisdom. This section of Proverbs focuses narrowly on the sin of adultery. While the language here evokes a woman tempting a married man, the principles are not meant to be applied to males alone. The concepts of sexual purity apply equally to both sexes and to all persons.

This chapter begins with the typical plea for the reader or listener to pay close attention. This book uses the term wisdom to mean an ability to apply godly knowledge. Discretion is closely related to that idea. This implies someone who can discern between different things. We see the same idea in related English terms such as discrete, discriminate, and discernment. The advice given here is vital, and Solomon is eager to see it followed (Proverbs 5:1–2).

Earlier verses personified wisdom as a woman crying out in the streets (Proverbs 1:20–21). Here, in a contrasting mood, temptation to adultery is symbolized by the idea of a temptress. It’s noteworthy that Solomon does not use physical descriptions here; the temptations are all verbal or emotional. That speaks to how this concept applies to both men and women, though history has demonstrated that men are more susceptible to sexual temptations. This “forbidden woman” promises something smooth and sweet, but the end results are sour and harmful (Proverbs 5:3–6).

A key aspect of avoiding sin is to avoid temptation. This is why Solomon strongly suggests staying far away from those who tempt us towards adultery. Avoiding situations where we’re liable to be overcome is sound advice. As part of that warning, this passage also describes the consequences of adultery. Those include a loss of reputation, shortened life, possible legal trouble, and reduced prosperity. Worse, adultery leads to deep regret, looking back with sorrow on sinful choices. There is a reason why, even in a modern culture drenched in promiscuity, there is still a deep stigma against those labelled as marital “cheaters” (Proverbs 5:7–14).

Beyond the consequences of adultery are the joys of a faithful marriage. One of the great pleasures of monogamy is the ability to enjoy sexual intimacy without guilt, shame, or fear. Solomon compares this to drinking water from one’s own well—a safe, legitimate, worthy source. The alternative would be seeking water in places like unguarded springs or puddles in the road. There is nothing an adulterous relationship can offer which God has not provided for, in a legitimate way, within a properly functioning marriage (Proverbs 5:15–20).

Summarizing this section is a reminder that God knows and sees all things. A common thread in adultery is secrecy, but that’s not possible in the eyes of an omniscient Creator. Another common thread is regret over consequences. Once adultery has been committed, it cannot be undone. God can—and will—forgive those who seek Him. But that forgiveness does not change the past. The damage to relationships, reputations, and bodily health are real, and those who ignore godly advice are liable to find this out the hard way (Proverbs 5:21–23).

Chapter Context
This chapter continues the wise sayings Solomon addresses to his children and / or students. Solomon warns about the temptation to succumb to adultery. He points out the calamities of yielding to sexual sin, and of violating one’s marriage. This warning is similar the one given in Proverbs 1:8–10. After cautioning about the risks of adultery, he cites the joys and advantages of monogamous marriage.

Verse by Verse

Verse 1. My son, be attentive to my wisdom;incline your ear to my understanding,

As at the beginning of chapter 4, Solomon urges his son to pay close attention to his words. He describes his teaching as having wisdom and understanding. A parent is responsible for the instruction of his children. Deuteronomy 6:6–7 issues the Lord’s command, “And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”

Context Summary
Proverbs 5:1–6 pleads with the son to heed his father Solomon’s wise counsel in order to be discreet and to speak knowledgeably. He depicts the seductress—a person seeking to come between a married couple—as speaking sweetly but her words are full of deadly poison. She is headed for ruin, and she does not realize it. Of note is that Solomon does not describe the seducer physically, since temptation isn’t limited to physical attraction. As with other warnings in this book, the reader is advised not to put themselves at risk of sharing in that same destruction.

Verse 2. that you may keep discretion,and your lips may guard knowledge.

Solomon affirms that his son will derive discretion and knowledgeable speech if he pays attention to his counsel. The purpose of Solomon’s wise teaching is not simply to infuse facts into his son’s head, but to give him the tools to wisely do what is right and avoid what is wrong. Wisdom, in fact, is a term Proverbs uses for an ability to act according to godly principles.

Also, Solomon wants his son to know how to speak wisely. If we obey the teaching of Scripture, we will not walk in the way of sinners (Psalm 1:1–2). In this context, “sinners” are those who are influenced by evil and walk according to the course of this evil world system (Ephesians 2:2). Furthermore, those who are wise will not use evil words such as profanity, gossip, foolishness, and lying (Ephesians 5:4). Instead, we will speak words that edify (Ephesians 4:29; 5:19) and words that ascribe thanks to God (Ephesians 5:20). Colossians 4:6 admonishes, “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” If we feed on evil thoughts, we will do what is evil, but if we feed on the wisdom of Scripture, we will do what is pleasing to the Lord.

Verse 3. For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey,and her speech is smoother than oil,

This begins an extensive warning about the dangers of adultery. The imagery given is that of a woman, but the principles apply equally to either sex.

A universal application is also supported by the lack of physical descriptions. While men are stereotypically more susceptible to looks, women are stereotyped by greater weakness to flattery. Solomon’s warning here does not limit itself to someone who merely looks or sounds good; it applies to anyone offering the sin of adultery.

The seducer uses sweet, smooth words to entice their victims. That enticing speech resembles the sweetness of honey, which was the sweetest substance known in ancient times.

Seducing speech is as smooth as olive oil, neither coarse nor rough. Perhaps the seducer uses flattery to trap a victim. Or they may boast about the great pleasure awaiting those who give in. Many people have found themselves tricked by a “smooth talker,” or enticed by a flirtatious personality, only to deeply regret that decision.

It is the sin nature that causes humans to love flattery and wrongful pleasure. The Galatian believers fell for the flattery false teachers used to draw them from sound doctrine to error. Paul said the false teachers made much of the Galatians so the Galatians would make much of them (Galatians 4:17). It was Paul’s practice not to flatter his audience but to preach the gospel. He wrote how he “never came with words of flattery” (1 Thessalonians 2:5), but was “ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves” (1 Thessalonians 2:8). The Devil is more than capable of using flattery to ensnare human beings, using our natural vanity!

Verse 4. but in the end she is bitter as wormwood,sharp as a two-edged sword.

Part of the warning about adultery in the passage is that the end results are never as positive as what is promised. Although the seductress—or any seducer, male or female—speaks honey-dripping, smooth words when she tempts, in the end what she offers is going to be both disappointing and painful. Whoever falls for the temptation to commit adultery will ultimately feel poisoned and experience the sharp pain of guilt.

Wormwood is a plant found in wastelands desert areas. Although it was used for some medicines, it was known for its extremely bitter taste. That property is meant as a direct counter to the seductress’ honey-like promises. Using the metaphor of a bitter taste, wormwood often symbolizes calamity or judgment. Revelation 8:10–11 foretells a star named Wormwood that falls like a blazing torch onto a third of earth’s rivers and springs of water, turning the water supply so poisonous that many people die.

Hebrews 4:12 describes God’s Word as sharper than a two-edged sword. That same verse explains how the truth of Scripture separates all things into their proper understanding. This verse relies on a similar imagery: the deep, severing nature of adultery’s consequences. The guilt which strikes the conscience of an adulterer is extremely painful. Other consequences, to one’s health, family, and reputation, are also brutal. Certainly, the act of adultery is not worth the agony it causes.

Verse 5. Her feet go down to death;her steps follow the path to Sheol;

The book of Proverbs often warns against following ungodly examples because such acts lead to negative consequences (Proverbs 1:19; 4:14). This is very much true of those who tempt others into adultery. Solomon points out the symbolic seductress’s impending judgment, saying her feet go down to death and her steps tread the path to Sheol. In blunt terms, those who tempt others to violate marriage are on a journey leading to hell.

Of course, despite the natural consequences of sin, even an adulteress—or adulterer, as the concepts apply equally to both sexes—can be saved from such a fate if she repents of her sin and trusts in the Lord to save her. The book of Judges identifies a prostitute named Rahab, who turned her back on her sinful lifestyle and put her faith in the God of Israel. Although the rest of the residents of Jericho, her city, perished, she was spared (Joshua 6). No one is so sinful that she or he lies beyond God’s power to save.

The fact that Christ saves does not change the importance of this verse. Following the path of sin and sensuality means defying God and His will—that will never end well.

Verse 6. she does not ponder the path of life;her ways wander, and she does not know it.

The symbolic seductress Solomon refers to is thoughtless and carefree. This could just as easily refer to a man who tempts others to betray their marriage. This seducer fails to think about the path of life and ignorantly pursues a path far from God. All she thinks about is how to find someone who will satisfy her lust. This follows a common pattern of Proverbs depicting those involved in sin as foolishly headed towards their own doom.

Sin blinds and exacts a heavy toll on those who cater to the flesh and have no regard for God. Hosea 4:11–12 indicts Israel as having turned away from God in favor of “whoredom [meaning idolatry], wine, and new wine, which take away the understanding.” The adulterous person lacks biblical understanding. He or she fails to see how evil adultery is and the bitter consequences it brings. Commonly, an adulterer or adulteress will rationalize the sin by blaming another person or reasoning that it was simply a product of his or her human nature.

Undoubtedly, modern movies, the Internet, and television glorify sexual indulgence. In many cases, it is excused or even celebrated. People of understanding seek the wisdom to resist temptations of sinful lusts.

Verse 7. And now, O sons, listen to me,and do not depart from the words of my mouth.

Solomon urges his sons, using a plural term. This most likely means he is referring to students; it was a common practice in that era to use parent-child terminology in a teaching relationship. He urges these students to listen to him and not abandon his wise counsel. A parent or teacher can provide sound teaching for his children or students, but each of them is individually responsible to incorporate the teaching into his life.

Timothy is a good example of someone who received excellent teaching in his childhood and honored it throughout his formative years. In 2 Timothy 1:5 Paul told Timothy, “I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well.” In the same letter he wrote: “But as for you [Timothy], continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus” (2 Timothy 3:14–15).

Context Summary
Proverbs 5:7–14 comes after Solomon has warned his son about the allurement of a seductress. Here, Solomon lists a number of catastrophes that result from committing adultery. This list precedes his advice to stay faithful to one’s spouse and enjoy the blessings of marriage—this is advice suitable for people of either sex.

Verse 8. Keep your way far from her,and do not go near the door of her house,

In this verse Solomon advises his sons to stay far away from the seductress. He warns them not to go near the door of her house. This follows earlier references to a woman who uses flattery and enticement to tempt a man into adultery (Proverbs 5:3–6). Of course, the same principles apply whether either party is male or female.

Sometimes the best defense against temptation is to get away from it. The apostle Paul advised young Timothy to flee sin (1 Timothy 6:11). When Joseph was Potiphar’s servant in Egypt, Potiphar’s wife tried to seduce Joseph. Genesis 39:7 states, “After a time [Potiphar’s] wife cast her eyes on Joseph and said, ‘Lie with me.’” She repeated this temptation day after day (Genesis 39:10), but Joseph refused to yield to her temptation, because he would not sin against God. When she grabbed him by his garment, he fled and got out of the house (Genesis 39:12).

Avoiding sources of temptation is sound advice for everyone. Those with unfortunate experiences often take this very seriously. Alcoholics are counselled to entirely avoid drinking and stay away from bars. Gambling addicts know even “innocent” bets can start a downward spiral. People who sincerely guard their lives recognizes that all people are fundamentally flawed, so they stay away from anything that might draw them into sin.

Verse 9. lest you give your honor to othersand your years to the merciless,

One result of committing adultery is to “give your honor to others.” The person who succumbs to the temptation to commit adultery loses his reputation. It’s interesting that even in the modern era of promiscuity and casual sex, violating a marriage is still a mark of shame. Adultery can bring social stigmas of weakness, or cruelty, or both. This brings a separation—sometimes very literally—from other people.

Beyond that, those caught in adultery risk spending the rest of their lives in the company of such people: seducers and their associates, all of whom are cruel. The world is only interested in using the seduced person as a target of their abuse. “Mercy,” in that scheme, means nothing.

Certainly, the prodigal son learned this lesson the hard way. He squandered his money on reckless living (Luke 15:13). His sinful lifestyle left him penniless, homeless, and hungry. Finally, he found a job, but it was humiliating. He worked as a hired man in the fields feeding pigs. He was starving to the point that he was tempted to eat the slop given to the pigs (Luke 15:13–16). Thankfully, the prodigal son learned that it is never too late for forgiveness, so long as a person is still alive (Luke 15:20). The world is merciless, but God is merciful to forgive those who turn to Him in faith (Hebrews 4:16). That does not change, at all, the fact that succumbing to temptation ruined the prodigal’s life, and drastically changed his prospects.

Verse 10. lest strangers take their fill of your strength,and your labors go to the house of a foreigner,

A popular slogan in post-Christian culture is, “If it feels good, do it.” However, the lack of morals leads to pain and suffering. This was hinted at earlier in this chapter, where a seductive person seems to offer something sweet and smooth, but instead brings poison and pain (Proverbs 5:3–4). The specific sin mentioned in this passage is that of adultery. However, the basic concept applies to any form of sin and its consequences.

Attitudes claiming everything is relative and every person must define right or wrong according to their own preferences are a path away from God (Isaiah 53:6). Solomon tells his sons that falling for temptation effectively puts one’s life, and possessions, and reputation, in the hands of other people. The ungodly world often claims that rebellion against God means “being in control” of one’s own life. The opposite, in fact, is true. Sin enslaves (John 8:34), and those who succumb to sin are handing themselves over to be abused (1 Corinthians 6:12).

The prodigal son left home with an inheritance (Luke 15:12–13), but he returned home with nothing except regret (Luke 15:18–19). He had lost all his wealth in a foreign country. Also, a pig farmer in that foreign country had drained the prodigal’s strength by putting him the fields to slop hogs and go hungry (Luke 15:14–16). Fortunately, this prodigal found that his father was forgiving (Luke 15:20).

Instead of squandering our strength, we ought to dedicate it to God and serve him with a loving heart. Jesus said the greatest commandment is to “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength” (Mark 12:30).

Verse 11. and at the end of your life you groan,when your flesh and body are consumed,

The specific sin Solomon warns about in this passage is adultery. In a general sense, the entire book of Proverbs cautions that following sin means risking dire consequences. Sexual immorality poses those risks to the body in a very direct way. As phrased here in this verse, yielding to adultery ruins one’s health so that the flesh and body are emaciated at the end of one’s life. In keeping with that same idea, later statements indicate the person who “commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself” (Proverbs 6:32). Proverbs 6:33 says the adulterer “will get wounds.”

Earlier verses explained the damage to one’s reputation and spirit that can come with adultery (Proverbs 5:9–10). This verse graphically presents the dangers which sexual sin poses to a person’s physical health and well-being.

Spiritually, adultery destroys a person’s relationship with the Lord. Psalm 66:18 states: “If I had cherished iniquity in my heart, the Lord would not have listened.” When he committed adultery with Bathsheba, King David suffered physically and spiritually. His bones ached, and he lost the joy of salvation. However, he confessed his sin, recognizing that it was primarily a sin against God. He wrote n Psalm 51:4, “Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight.” He prayed, “Let the bones that you have broken rejoice” (Psalm 51:8), and “restore to me the joy of your salvation” (Psalm 51:12).

Verse 12. and you say, “How I hated discipline,and my heart despised reproof!

This is a statement of regret, spoken by someone who failed to follow Solomon’s warning against adultery (Proverbs 5:1–11). Sin tells us that when something feels good, we should do it—rarely do people describe discipline and common sense as “fun.” In that sense, falling prey to adultery—or any other sin—is a matter of preferring pleasure over discipline and good teaching. Those who “hate” godly teaching will, one way or another, come to regret it.

At some point, the adulterer will feel remorse (Proverbs 5:4), but regret comes too late. If he had accepted instruction about the evil of adultery and its consequences, he would not be smitten with remorse. Guilt and regret over past actions are hard to bear. That pain is amplified when sin brings permanent consequences. Those might be to our reputation, finances, or relationships. They can also apply to our physical health (Proverbs 5:11).

After betraying Jesus for thirty pieces of silver, Judas Iscariot was filled with remorse, but it was too late. He returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders (Matthew 27:3), and said, “I have sinned by betraying innocent blood” (Matthew 27:4). After throwing down the silver pieces in the temple, he committed suicide (Matthew 27:5). Judas realized that what he’d done could not be undone. Tragically, that led him to despair instead of to godly repentance (2 Corinthians 7:10).

Verse 13. I did not listen to the voice of my teachersor incline my ear to my instructors.

Few experiences are as typical for mankind as looking back, with regret, on good advice we failed to take. Especially when judgment falls, sinners wish they had listened to godly wisdom. It is not the instructors’ fault that students go astray, it is the fault of those who fail to accept the instruction. Few people who fall into deep sin can say, with any truth, that they were never warned about the consequences they would face. This verse continues the mourning of someone shattered by sin, who realizes exactly how they came to their fate (Proverbs 5:11–12).

Without a doubt Jesus was the best teacher in history. He spoke the truth, and His words were authoritative and life giving. However, not everyone who heard Jesus’ instruction accepted it (John 5:39–40). The scribes and Pharisees rejected it, and at one point masses of people turned away and no longer followed Him (John 6:66). Jesus taught that God’s Word, like scattered seed, doesn’t fall only on good ground. Sometimes it falls on stony ground or among weeds and is unproductive (Matthew 13:18–23). Paul told Timothy the time would come when children would flagrantly ignore their parents (2 Timothy 3:1–2) and “people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions” (2 Timothy 4:3). The results of that ignorance will be painful.

Verse 14. I am at the brink of utter ruinin the assembled congregation.”

This passage warns against the sin of adultery. Specifically, Solomon is explaining the deep regret and painful consequences which come from that sin (Proverbs 5:7–13). One of the consequences already mentioned is a loss of reputation and honor (Proverbs 5:9). It’s curious that even in sex-saturated modern culture, which celebrates casual promiscuity, there is still stigma attached to adultery. “Cheating” in a marriage relationship brings reactions from society at large.

This statement may refer to the shame an adulterer experiences in the eyes of others —or the shame of an adulteress, since this concept applies equally to both sexes. Certainly, he has good reason to feel ashamed of himself and deserving of divine judgment when he enters the sanctuary. However, “the brink of utter ruin” may also mean he is about to be punished by his fellow Israelites for his adulterous behavior. According to Leviticus 20:10 capital punishment was to be imposed on those who committed adultery, and stoning was the usual means of punishment.

When a woman in Jesus’ day was caught in the act of adultery, the scribes and Pharisees brought her to where Jesus was teaching and told Him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the Law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?” (John 8:4–5). Jesus responded by writing something on the ground, perhaps the sins of the accusers. He said, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her” (John 8:7). Upon hearing that, all the accusers left, and Jesus forgave the woman but told her to go and sin no more (John 8:9–11). There is no sin too great that grace cannot erase!

Verse 15. Drink water from your own cistern,flowing water from your own well.

In this verse Solomon compares monogamy to a well of flowing water. He advises his sons, or students, to enjoy the water that flows from his own well. Part of the joy that comes from sex within marriage is knowing that it is pleasure sanctioned and celebrated by God. The confidence of knowing something is moral, and legitimate, and sacred only enhances the happiness it brings.

The delights of marriage are many. God established monogamy when He pointed out that it was not good for man to be alone. He created Eve from one of Adam’s ribs and brought her to Adam. When Adam saw Eve, he said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man” (Genesis 2:23). The next verse emphasizes the bond that unites husband and wife: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). If a man holds fast to his wife, he will enjoy the delights of marriage and not stray into an adulterous relationship.

Context Summary
Proverbs 5:15–23 follows sections warning about the temptations and consequences of adultery. In this closing section of Proverbs 5, Solomon advises each of his sons to stay faithful to his wife in a monogamous relationship and to enjoy the blessings of marriage. He points out that the Lord knows all about each person’s conduct.

Verse 16. Should your springs be scattered abroad,streams of water in the streets?

Here Solomon stresses the folly of adulterous relationships. Scholars are split on whether the phrasing in this verse is meant as a reference to a person’s passions, or to children, or possibly both.

The prior verse compared enjoying a faithful marriage to drinking water from a person’s own well or cistern. That comes with many advantages, including knowing for sure that the water is pure and safe. It also implies a sense of legitimacy—a satisfaction of knowing that the water is coming from an appropriate source. This verse seems to contrast that to someone who drinks water from random locations, or even out of trickles running through the dirt of a street. Those would be less-appealing and dangerous ways to satisfy thirst.

Also, concepts like wells and cisterns imply control: the water is being cared for and managed in the right way. Sexuality is much the same—it needs to be carefully managed, not carelessly thrown around. The imagery of wasting water in the streets is a contrast to that idea, as well.

Alternatively, there is the fact that human sexuality is connected to bearing children. One possibility of adulterous relationships is the births of unexpected children. In the ancient world, as in the modern day, so-called “unwanted” children face many challenges. Those not heartlessly killed in abortion may be destined to live in less-than-ideal conditions, or even abandoned as orphans. God’s order for society is the family unit: children in the care of one man and one woman.

Of course, in some cases, a couple may be childless, but God always does what is right and best. A husband never has a reason to be unfaithful to his wife. Childless Abraham and Sarah decided not to wait for Isaac whom God promised would be born to them in their old age. At Sarah’s suggestion, Abraham had relations with her servant Hagar. Abraham followed Sarah’s suggestion, and as a result Ishmael was born (Genesis 16:1–4). God predicted Ishmael would be a source of conflict, and the prediction came true. Even today, the descendants of Ishmael oppose the descendants of Isaac (Genesis 16:12).

Verse 17. Let them be for yourself alone,

The prior verse used the imagery of springs and water. That might have continued the metaphor of sexuality as water: something to be managed carefully and enjoyed when it comes from the proper source. Alternatively, it might have implied the risks of unintended pregnancy brought on by adultery. In that vein, this warning is Solomon’s plea to let one’s children be for them alone, and not for strangers.

In Old Testament times children would help their father defend against marauders and those who filed a false claim against him. Children were a rich heritage. If a man and woman adhere to a monogamous marriage, no one will question whether the children are legitimately his. This is one reason why virginity was such a crucial concept in ancient culture—it was among the only sure ways to know that the child was legitimate, and not the result of an adulterous relationship.

Psalm 127 describes the beautiful relationship between parents and their children. The children are a heritage from the Lord and his reward (Psalm 127:3). They are like arrows in the hand of a warrior (Psalm 127:4). Further, they defend their father’s honor when he speaks with his enemies in the gate—the place of conducting business and settling disputes (Psalm 127:5). Scripture does not require parenthood for all people, but it does describe children as a blessing.

Verse 18.
Let your fountain be blessed,and rejoice in the wife of your youth,

Continuing the analogy of a spouse—in this case, a man’s wife—as a well of refreshing water, Solomon advises his students to take joy in that relationship. Earlier verses implied that part of the joy of sexuality in a marriage was the sense of care and legitimacy it brings (Proverbs 5:15).

A husband should seek ways to bless his wife, so the two may live happily together. This counsel would include loving her, praying for her, and honoring her. Ephesians 5:25 commands: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” This verse teaches that a husband’s love for his wife should be sacrificial. A loving husband puts his wife’s interests ahead of his own.

First Peter 3:7 commands: “Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” The husband ought to derive joy from his marriage, and from his commitment to it. Isaiah 62:5 compares the joy a bridegroom derives from his bride to God’s rejoicing over His people.

Verse 19. a lovely deer, a graceful doe.Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;be intoxicated always in her love.

Despite what some might think, Scripture does not shy away from the concepts of sexuality and pleasure. Rather, the Bible establishes them in the context of monogamous marriage between a man and woman. That joy and happiness is encouraged, here as in other passages.

A husband should picture his wife as lovely as a deer and as graceful as a doe. He should always delight in her breasts and be intoxicated always in her love. In the Song of Solomon, Solomon addresses his beloved as beautiful. He refers to her breasts as “like two fawns, twins of a gazelle, that graze among the lilies” (Song of Solomon 4:5), and he declares, “You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride; you have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes” (Song of Solomon 4:9). Those unfamiliar with these passages may find those depictions awkward or uncomfortable. But Proverbs and Song of Solomon show that God considers physical attraction and conjugal love within a marriage as beautiful and commendable.

The difference between sexual love in marriage and sensual lust in adultery is striking. The former is lifelong; the latter is momentary and fleeting. The former is satisfying; the latter is destructive. God instituted marriage between a man and a woman as a lifelong, loving partnership. When an adulterer breaks the bond of that partnership, pain and remorse fill his soul.

Verse 20. Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden womanand embrace the bosom of an adulteress?

The last few verses pointed out the satisfaction and pleasure a man is offered with his own wife. This passage has also explained a number of painful consequences associated with adultery, in contrast to the joyful benefits of faithfulness in marriage. Given all of that, why would someone choose to give over control of their sexuality to a forbidden woman?

When a person is intoxicated with alcohol, he is under the influence of alcohol. Similarly, when a person is intoxicated with a forbidden woman—or a man, in the case of a woman being tempted—he is under the influence or control of that woman.

Sadly, Solomon’s life didn’t adhere to this very advice. During his lifetime “he loved many foreign women…from the nations concerning which the LORD had said to the people of Israel, ‘You shall not enter into marriage with them… they will turn away your heart after their gods.’” (1 Kings 11:1–2). First Kings 11:3 reports that Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines, and “his wives turned away his heart.” In his mind Solomon knew he was doing wrong, but he ignored both his mind and convictions, and instead gave in to his impulses, which led him away from the Lord. His advice here is sound—and the consequences he suffered for turning away from it make that even clearer.

Verse 21. For a man ‘s ways are before the eyes of the Lord,and he ponders all his paths.

If an adulterer thinks his sin is a secret, he deceives himself. Nothing is hidden from God’s eyes (Hebrews 4:13). He sees all, and He knows all. One of the ways we justify sin to ourselves, often, is by pretending that no one will know. But God—whose knowledge matters more than that of any other person—can’t be fooled or hidden from.

This idea of God seeing and knowing all pervades Scripture. Genesis 6:5 reports that in the days just before the flood, “The LORD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.” When Abraham expelled Hagar and Ishmael from his house, Hagar rested by a spring of water in the desert and received a visit from the angel of the Lord. After the visit, she called the name of the Lord, “You are a God of seeing” (Genesis 16:13). Amid his trials, Job said of God, “He knows the way that I take” (Job 23:10). Psalm 139:1–3 confesses “O LORD, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways.”

The thought of the Lord’s all-seeing eye brings comfort to those who walk uprightly, but it brings guilt and fear to those who pursue wickedness.

Verse 22. The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him,and he is held fast in the cords of his sin.

Sin springs a trap on those who disobey God. The idea that ungodly actions bring surprising consequences is a common theme in the book of Proverbs. Part of the purpose behind this metaphor is the idea of suddenness and surprise; another is that of being trapped or entangled.

Sin enslaves (John 8:34), like a jailer who convinces a prisoner to forge the very chains that bind him. The habitual wrongdoer may think he can extricate himself from his sin, but he is wrong. Once consequences come, they’re permanent and bring regret (Proverbs 5:11–14).

Samson constantly toyed with sin, in his relationship with Delilah, and thought he would always be able to shake off the consequences (Judges 16:6–14). But when judgment came, it was brutal and inescapable (Judges 16:15–21). When the Philistines pounced on Samson to capture him, Samson mistakenly thought he could get up from Delilah’s lap and shake them off, but he was wrong. He had violated his Nazarite vows, and fell helplessly into the hands of his enemies, who imprisoned him and gouged out his eyes.

In much the same way, sin tricks people into thinking they can go on forever without consequences. Those trapped in that attitude are slaves of sin (Romans 6:20–21). Jesus said, “Everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin” (John 8:34). However, whoever believes on Jesus as Savior finds freedom to serve God. Jesus also said, “If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed” (John 8:36).

Verse 23. He dies for lack of discipline,and because of his great folly he is led astray.

According to this verse the undisciplined person—the one who turns away from good teaching (Proverbs 5:11–13)—is subject to death as a natural result. Unrestrained sinning weakens the body and inflicts damage on the person who indulges in a wicked lifestyle. This suffering is physical, mental, and spiritual.

Certainly, anyone who participates in sexual sin invites horrific diseases. Discipline keeps a person’s body strong and healthy, but fools lack discipline and therefore greatly increase their risk of suffering an early death. Proverbs 14:12 says, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.”

Solomon also points out here that a lack of discipline—here meaning a choice to ignore correction and teaching—leads him astray. The words, “led astray,” in this verse are from the same Hebrew word for “captivated.” Foolishness captivates some people, leading them to do whatever their sinful desires dictate. The adulterer foolishly thinks an extramarital affair will be pleasant, but he soon discovers that it brings trouble. By pursuing sin, the foolish person wanders away from God and may never find his way back.

End of Proverbs 5

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