Down to Earth But Heavenly Minded

What does Ephesians Chapter 5 mean?

Chapter 5 covers two important themes: obedience to the example of Christ, and the relationship between husbands and wives. First, Paul discusses how believers are to be imitators of God through a focus on the love demonstrated by Christ (Ephesians 5:1–21). Second, wives and husbands are given clear biblical teachings regarding mutual love and submission in relationship to Christ (Ephesians 5:22–33).

The first section (Ephesians 5:1–21) encourages believers to imitate God like loving children (Ephesians 5:1). Sexual impurity is not to be known among believers (Ephesians 5:3). The same is true of foolish talk (Ephesians 5:4). Non-believers are marked by a persistent pattern of these behaviors (Ephesians 5:5). Believers are not to be deceived by lies (Ephesians 5:6) and must not be partners with those who deceive (Ephesians 5:7). Yes, believers once lived in this way, but are no longer walking in darkness (Ephesians 5:8).

Believers are to find out what pleases God (Ephesians 5:10). Believers should take no part in sin, but rather expose sin (Ephesians 5:11). This does not require us to be vulgar or offensive in discussing sinful acts (Ephesians 5:12). Paul then quotes from what was likely part of an early Christian song in verse 14. He encourages believers to walk with wisdom (Ephesians 5:15).

Believers are to make the most of their time, because the days are evil (Ephesians 5:16). Paul encouraged readers to understand the will of God (Ephesians 5:17) and not become drunk on wine (Ephesians 5:18). Instead, believers are to be filled with the Spirit, praising the Lord and giving thanks to Him (Ephesians 5:18–20). Believers should also submit to one another out of respect for Christ (Ephesians 5:21).

The second part of this chapter (Ephesians 5:22–33) addresses mutual submission between husband and wife. Ephesians 5:22–24 focuses first on wives. They are called to submit to their husbands as to the Lord (Ephesians 5:22), with Paul using the analogy of Christ and the church as an example (Ephesians 5:23–24).

Husbands are then addressed and called to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). They are to love their wives as they do their own bodies, teaching that the man who loves his wife loves himself (Ephesians 5:28). Paul transitions to a reference to Genesis 2:24, noting the mystery is profound between Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:32). In summary, Paul reminds husbands to love their wives as they do themselves and for wives to respect their husbands (Ephesians 5:33).

Chapter Context
Chapter 5 continues the very practical second half of the book of Ephesians. Chapter 4 encouraged Christians not to live as unbelievers do, but worthy of the gift we have been given. Chapter 5 gives even more direct application of these principles. Paul details impure attitudes and habits which Christians ought to put aside. He then details the proper approach to marriage, rooted in a Christian understanding of the gospel. This style of advice will continue through chapter 6. Paul’s advice will culminate in a famous analogy about applying Christian principles to all of life, using the symbolism of a suit of armor.

Verse by Verse

Verse 1. Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.

Chapter 5 covers two important themes: obedience to God in our lives, and the proper relationship between husbands and wives. This first section discusses how believers are to be imitators of God, with a particular focus on the love of Christ (Ephesians 5:1–21). Our practical goals are summed up with the word “imitators.” Paul uses a commanding tone here: the phrase “be imitators” is an imperative. Paul commands those who follow God to imitate Him. This means striving to do as He would do.

Paul also explains the mindset which ought to motivate Christians towards obedience. Believers in Christ enjoy a Father–child relationship with God. A child naturally seeks to copy what he or she sees in a loving father. Believers in Jesus are to likewise copy what they learn about God. Paul frequently mentions children in this letter (Ephesians 2:3; 4:14; 5:8). Though most of these mentions are simply illustrations, this may suggest that the Ephesian church had an abundance of young people and parents, an area Paul addresses in Ephesians 6:1.

Context Summary
Ephesians 5:1–21 continues Paul’s invaluable instructions on how Christians should live out their faith. Rather than imitating the world, or being controlled by worldly things, Christians are to be filled with the Spirit. Specific flaws such as sexual immorality, crude speech, and wasting of time are discouraged. Instead, believers ought to submit to one another out of respect for Christ, providing a powerful witness to the world.

Verse 2. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

In addition to imitating God (Ephesians 5:1), believers are to continually act out of love. The phrase translated “walk in love” is used only here in Scripture. The Greek expression peropateite en agape refers to “continuing in selfless love.” The theme of “walking” refers to a consistent, purposeful practice. This is a common topic in Ephesians (Ephesians 2:2, 10; 4:1, 17; 5:8, 15). Believers are told, “Look carefully then how you walk” (Ephesians 5:15). The example for how to walk—how to live as a matter of habit—is Christ.

The description of Christ in this verse revolves around four themes. First is Christ’s love for mankind. Second is Christ’s sacrifice, made on our behalf. Third, this sacrifice is described as “a fragrant offering.” This refers to the idea of a sweet-smelling offering in the tabernacle or temple. Fourth, Jesus gave His life for us, as a sacrifice to God, both for our good and as an act of worship to the Father. The book of Hebrews develops this theme in greater detail, showing that Christ offered a once-for-all sacrifice. As a result, believers in Jesus are no longer bound by the sacrifices of the Jewish law (the Torah), but are instead bound to Christ.

Verse 3. But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.

After encouraging positive ways to imitate God (Ephesians 5:1–2), Paul transitions to condemn three areas which are sinful for believers. These are grouped together as if they are part of a common theme. If so, then Paul’s emphasis in this passage is sexual immorality.

First, Paul directly mentions sexual immorality. This general term can include any sexual misconduct, including inappropriate communication and pornography. Generally, though, as used here, it means physical sexual behaviors, including premarital sex, adultery, and same-sex acts.

Second, “impurity” refers to any kind of unclean or unholy living (Ephesians 4:19). In chapter 4, Paul discussed in detail how non-believers are entangled in various sins (Ephesians 4:17–19). Christians can, and should, strive to be free from these kinds of corruptions. This extends beyond “sexual immorality” in a blatant sense, to those things which non-Christians might consider “gray” areas of sexual purity.

Third, Paul refers to “covetousness.” This concept comes directly from the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:17), and means a passionate desire for something belonging to another person. In this context, it most often includes a lust for someone else’s wife. There is also a connotation of “greed” involved. This continues to extend Paul’s warning about sexual sin to include overt actions, subtle actions, and now even one’s thoughts and attitudes.

Paul said such things should not exist among believers. As Christians, we are capable of sin and failure, but we should never be passive about it. When we’re convicted of sin, as believers, we ought to confess it and seek to rid ourselves of it (1 John 1:9).

The need for believers to hold each other accountable is not about being judgmental. It’s a matter of the health of the entire church. Paul calls a pure church “proper among saints.” Paul sought to avoid the kinds of problems experienced in Corinth (1 Corinthians 5). There, sexual immorality was tolerated in the church and caused problems for the entire congregation. Striking a balance between fellowship and purity can be difficult, but it is necessary.

Verse 4. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.

Verse 3 condemned three types of sexual immorality, extending to include all aspects of our behavior and attitude. Here, Paul addresses three kinds of inappropriate speech.

First, he prohibits “filthiness.” This is mentioned immediately following a discussion of sexual immorality, so it may refer specifically to dirty jokes that include sexual references. The Greek term is aischrotēs, most literally meaning “obscenity.” Such words are not only closely tied to immoral actions and attitudes, they are offensive and hurtful to others.

Second, Paul condemns “foolish talk.” This Greek term is mōrologia, a combination of two more common terms: moros (stupid) and lego (speaking). This makes the meaning fairly clear. Paul’s idea seems to be talk which is idiotic, absurd, or blatantly meaningless. This probably overlaps with the “filthiness” and “crude joking” also mentioned in this verse. In addition, “foolish talk” might include things like “trash talk,” speaking in ignorance (Proverbs 18:13), or speaking without self-control (Proverbs 12:16; 29:20).

Third, Paul mentions to avoid “crude joking.” The Greek eutrapelia is a reference to vulgar, lewd, crass, or foul-mouthed humor. God certainly allows for humor, and this verse in no sense tells believers to be stone-faced and dour. But there is no need for joking which is rude, dirty, or mean-spirited. As with the other types of speech listed, bawdy jokes have a close relationship with sins of the mind, such as lust, and should be avoided. As Paul writes in 1 Thessalonians 5:11, believers are to “encourage one another and build one another up.” Instead of being coarse and crude, Paul encourages an attitude of gratitude. This is the better alternative to vulgar speech.

Verse 5. For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.

Following his instructions in verses 3 and 4, Paul summarizes that those who live like this are not true believers. Ephesians 2:2 explained that those who persist in sinful living are under the influence of Satan, not Christ. Paul, at least in this verse, is drawing a distinction between those who “walk” in these kinds of sins, and those who are part of the kingdom of God. For that reason, some speculate that Paul is implying that those who fall into such sins will lose their salvation. While this single verse separates salvation from those who participate in such sins, other passages certainly note Paul’s view that nothing can separate the believer from God (Romans 8:37–39).

In the greater context of Ephesians, Paul’s intent is to make a distinction between the lives of believers and unbelievers. Believers are supposed to live distinctly differently. Instead of sexual immorality and vulgar speech, believers are to exhibit pure lives and live with gratitude. Unbelievers are marked by their evil actions and will not inherit the kingdom of God. However, believers are certainly given the gift of eternal life (John 3:16; Ephesians 2:8–9). Because of this, they should live in a way that imitates God (Ephesians 5:1), turning from the sinful practices of their life before Christ.

Christians are capable of sin, even though we are saved (1 John 1:8). Thankfully, Christ is willing to forgive (1 John 1:9), and the salvation we have can never be lost (John 10:28). Those whose lives are marked by persistent sins, such as those mentioned here by Paul, however, have reason to closely examine their spiritual lives.

Verse 6. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.

Speaking of unbelievers (Ephesians 5:5), Paul warns Christians not to be misled by worldly arguments. Unbelievers can trick believers into sexual immorality or foolish talk, usually by suggesting that there’s no real harm in it. Believers are not immune to sexual temptation (Hebrews 4:15), but are empowered to recognize it, resist it, and replace it with godly actions (1 Corinthians 10:13). The reference to “empty words” may allude to Psalm 41:6, which speaks of the “empty words” of God’s enemies.

Paul then reminds his readers of the future of those who seek to deceive them: the judgment of God. The “wrath of God” was mentioned by Jesus (John 3:36), and often by Paul (Romans 1:18; 5:9; 12:19; Colossians 3:6), as well as the apostle John (Revelation 14:19; 15:1, 7; 16:1; 19:15). This judgment again reflects Paul’s belief that those who do not imitate God are unbelievers and will experience God’s wrath. Believers, in contrast, are saved from the wrath of God by the blood of Christ (Romans 5:9). Again, this is not a reference to occasional sins, but to those who “walk,” or make a habit of such behaviors.

Verse 7. Therefore do not become partners with them;

Paul’s words in this verse offer brief yet powerful instruction. “Partners” are those who work together in some kind of connected relationship. Believers and unbelievers are not to be closely connected. The sinful actions of the unbeliever can be associated with the believer as well, causing damage to the reputation of the church (Ephesians 5:3–4).

Of course, this does not mean Christians are to avoid all contact or association with non-Christians. Jesus was a friend of sinners (Matthew 11:19). Imitating Him requires us to show love and a good example to the unsaved (Matthew 5:16), as we evangelize them (Matthew 28:19). However, certain limitations do exist. There comes a point where the line is crossed, and we can give the impression that we approve of what God has called sin.

Believers are to be known for holy lives (Ephesians 5:3–4) that are distinct from the world (Ephesians 5:5–6). The church, including all believers in Christ, is the bride of Christ (Ephesians 5:25–33) and the pillar of truth (1 Timothy 3:15–16). Believers can no longer live like they did before knowing Christ (Ephesians 5:8), but are to do what pleases God (Ephesians 5:9). Paul’s instructions in Ephesians 5:8–21 continue to emphasize these themes, contrasting the lives of believers and unbelievers.

The life of the believer should look distinctly different from the unbeliever. In many cases, this means maintaining some level of distance between those who are saved and unsaved.

Verse 8. for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light

Paul contrasts the past of his readers with their current status. Before knowing Christ, all human beings are in “darkness.” As believers, they are instead “light in the Lord.” The contrast of dark/light is as old as Genesis 1 and is commonly associated with evil versus good, exactly as Paul uses it in this context.

Based on their new status, Paul commands his readers to, “Walk as children of light.” Paul uses this phrase in one other passage, 1 Thessalonians 5:5, where he describes Christians as “children of light, children of the day. We are not of the night or of the darkness.” In that passage, the emphasis is on living “awake,” being alert to obey the Lord. This is a theme Paul will again note in Ephesians 5:14. Paul’s similar application here is to live in obedience as believers. Christians are to imitate God (Ephesians 5:1), walk in love (Ephesians 5:2), and flee from sinful actions (Ephesians 5:3–6). They should not live like unbelievers or be “partners” with them (Ephesians 5:7).

Verse 9. (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true),

This verse includes a parenthetical statement. Like Ephesians 4:9–10, this is a side remark in the middle of another thought. In this case, Paul inserts an additional explanation of what it means to walk as children of light (Ephesians 5:8). Paul mentions the “fruit of light” as reference to the “result” of life. In other words, Christian obedience is found in “all that is good and right and true.” All three words express the same concept of actions that are noble and pleasing to God.

Paul often refers to “good” in this letter. Believers are created to do “good” works (Ephesians 2:10), use “good” words (Ephesians 4:29), have “good” will (Ephesians 6:7), and will be blessed for doing “good” (Ephesians 6:8). Doing what is “right” is also a recurring concept in Ephesians. Believers are to live in true righteousness (Ephesians 4:24), obey their parents for this is “right” (Ephesians 6:1), and wear the breastplate of righteousness (Ephesians 6:14). Third, believers are to do what is “true,” as noted in Ephesians 4:24: “created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.”

Verse 10. and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord.

Two themes are noted in this brief verse. First, a believer is to be discerning. Paul notes elsewhere the connection between discernment and pleasing God, in Romans 12:2: “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God.” Discernment is also important when taking communion (1 Corinthians 11:29). Prayer involves discernment (Philippians 1:9). Scripture also discerns the thoughts and intentions of people (Hebrews 4:12).

Second, a believer is to please the Lord. Believers are to not live as reckless “people-pleasers” (Ephesians 6:6) even when servants of a master, though we are to serve well. Unbelievers cannot please God (Romans 8:8). We are to live to uplift and serve others (Romans 15:2; Hebrews 11:6). Husbands and wives must consider how to please both one another and the Lord (1 Corinthians 7:32–34). However, the believer’s ultimate aim is to please God, not people (1 Thessalonians 2:4; 4:1).

Verse 11. Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.

Two commands are offered in this verse. First, believers are to completely avoid participating in sin. Paul’s command here implies that sin is a waste of time and associated with darkness, which is opposed to the light of those living for Christ.

The second command is a contrast to merely avoiding sin. This instruction means to unmask or point out what is sinful. This does not mean speak in graphic detail about certain sinful actions (Ephesians 5:12). However, believers must define right and wrong and encourage others (and themselves) to live according to what is right. This is a powerful counter to the frequent charge against Christians of being “judgmental.” While we must use righteous, humble judgment (John 7:24), we are actually commanded as believers to point out sin, for the benefit of others (James 5:20).

This need to expose sin requires believers to avoid particular actions, encouraging purity and unity in the body of Christ. This includes a careful personal life (Ephesians 5:15), wisdom (Ephesians 5:15), a productive use of time (Ephesians 5:16), focusing on God’s will (Ephesians 5:17), and joining together with other believers for worship (Ephesians 5:18–20).

Verse 12. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret.

Putting his own warnings into practice, Paul does not describe every possible sin in gruesome detail. Rather, he notes that what unbelievers attempt to hide from the rest of the world is even more depraved than what is done openly. This approach offers important wisdom regarding how to address sensitive matters regarding sin and its impact among believers.

First, believers can condemn certain sins without going into detail about them. For example, rape is clearly a sinful action. However, it’s not necessary to use vivid details when discussing it. In fact, this can be counterproductive. The same is true of sins of sexual immorality or violence. It is sufficient to teach against sins and avoid shameful details. In a more practical sense, this also means Christians don’t need to investigate every sordid detail of something in order to determine whether or not it’s suitable.

Second, believers can speak against sin without direct personal experience in that area. It has become a common response, for example, for some to say, “You can’t speak against this problem (sexual sin, addiction, etc.) because you’ve never gone through it.” Or, to suggest that those who have never tried certain sins are in no position to discourage them in others.

While it is true that those who have shared in a struggle may be able to help others in the same area more effectively, it is simply illogical to suggest that we should avoid speaking against any sin we have not personally experienced. One does not need to have personal experience with murder, rape, addiction, theft, or other issues to be correct when they condemn those actions. Christ was without sin, yet spoke against many sinful actions. He serves as the perfect example all believers are to follow. Humility and grace are important, but neither mean we cannot speak on a particular sin unless we have direct experience with it.

Verse 13. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible,

Paul again refers to “light” to communicate a spiritual principle (Ephesians 3:9; 5:8, 9, 14). Believers are to “expose” sin, making a clear distinction between right and wrong (Ephesians 5:11). Light reveals what darkness tries to hide. The idea of “exposing” is strong in the Old Testament (Exodus 20:26; Proverbs 26:26; Lamentations 2:14; Ezekiel 28:17) and is often used in reference to going about without clothing (Exodus 20:26; Revelation 16:15). When Adam and Eve sinned, they recognized their nakedness and attempted to cover themselves (Genesis 3).

Sin, however, needs to be exposed in order to be defeated. John 3:20 offers Jesus’ teaching that the person who does wicked things does not want to come into the light and be exposed. Darkness and evil share a close association in Scripture, as do light and goodness. Believers are to walk in the light (1 John 1:7). In the Lord there is no darkness (1 John 1:5).

Verse 14. for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, “Awake, O sleeper,and arise from the dead,and Christ will shine on you.”

Paul concludes his contrast of darkness and light with the statement “anything that becomes visible is light.” When sin is exposed (Ephesians 5:13) change can take place and sins can be forgiven. Believers must confess their sins in order to be in fellowship with the Lord (1 John 1:8–9).

Paul then refers to a shared saying with the phrase, “Therefore it says.” The following words are often understood as an early hymn or poem known to both Paul and the Ephesian believers. These words may have been known to others, particularly if this letter to the Ephesians was intended for multiple churches. The Greek words translated “sleep” and “dead” share the same rhyming ending. The third phrase ends with the word Christos or Christ to end the hymn. The usage is intended to communicate the concept that when we turn from our sins to the Lord, Christ brings us to life and “shines” on us, again connecting with the theme of light.

Verse 15. Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise,

This verse begins with the Greek preposition ouv, translated “therefore,” to signal a transition to a new section or summary. Paul once again returns to the theme of “walking,” which means abiding or remaining in Jesus (Ephesians 2:2, 10; 4:1, 17; 5:2, 8). Used six other times in this letter, “walking” refers to how one lives. We are to walk as children of light (Ephesians 5:8), in a manner worthy of the calling (Ephesians 4:1), not like unbelievers do (Ephesians 4:17).

Looking carefully at our spiritual walk is considered “wise.” This wisdom comes from God (Ephesians 1:8), who gives believers the Spirit of wisdom (Ephesians 1:17). God gives wisdom to the church, making it known to others (Ephesians 3:10). Here again, Paul desires believers to grow in maturity. Evangelism is important, but so is the spiritual growth of existing believers. Paul focuses much attention on the spiritual growth of existing believers in the church. Their maturity is important for reaching additional people for Christ. Their example was the method of evangelism.

Verse 16. making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.

Paul continues with a command regarding how we utilize our time. Depending on the translation, this could be thought of as “making the most of every opportunity.” Paul was personally familiar with the perspective that each day could be his last. He had been beaten, shipwrecked, stoned, and imprisoned, not knowing if he would live to see another day (2 Corinthians 11:24–28). In addition, he taught Christ would return at any moment (1 Thessalonians 4:13–18). Believers are to live holy lives and share the gospel in preparation for our inevitable departure.

Paul also notes another purpose for believers to make the best use of time: the time he lived in was rampant in sin. Just as Noah lived a godly life prior to a time of judgment, Paul urged his readers to live holy lives in obedience to the Lord, knowing the evil days in which they lived indicated that judgment could come soon.

Verse 17. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.

Based on his commands to walk with wisdom (Ephesians 5:15) and make the most of each opportunity (Ephesians 5:16), Paul concludes that Christians should not be reckless or unwise in our lifestyle choices. Paul referred to some “foolish” actions and talk in Ephesians 5:4. Here, he reminds readers that foolishness contradicts God’s desire for our lives. Further, Paul was well acquainted with the Proverbs, which frequently note the negatives associated with foolishness (Proverbs 10:1; 14:17; 15:20; 17:25; 19:13; 21:20; 30:32). Those who are wise refrain from foolish living.

In contrast, Paul urged readers to recognize God’s will. He speaks about God’s will throughout this letter (Ephesians 1:1, 5, 9, 11; 6:6). Paul saw himself as an apostle by the will of God. All believers are adopted as sons through Jesus by His will (Ephesians 1:5). God’s revelation contains the clear will of God. Those who study God’s Word will become familiar with God’s perspective on life’s issues (2 Timothy 3:16).

Further, prayer and the wise words of other mature believers can assist us. These tools help us better determine specific applications of God’s will to areas of our life. When we turn from foolishness, we can focus more clearly on understanding God’s desires for our lives.

Verse 18. And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit,

Whether drunkenness was a particular problem at Ephesus or not, we can’t tell from this verse. Paul does feel led to warn against being controlled by alcohol. The word translated “debauchery” doesn’t merely refer to alcoholism as some might think. Rather, it is a broad term associated with a wasted, unproductive life. Paul’s concern was that those who get drunk are not making the most of every opportunity (Ephesians 5:16) and are making unwise decisions (Ephesians 5:15). Worse, drunkenness makes one’s decision-making that much poorer—a self-aggravating condition.

In the common debate over the role of alcohol in a Christian’s life, verses such as this are instructive. Paul does not insist that his readers abstain from all alcohol. Had that been his intent, he could have easily said so, and presumably would have. In this circumstance, he simply commands them not to become inebriated. However, his intent is not merely a reference to alcohol. Anything which has the power to control, harm, or hurt a Christian needs to be handled with extreme care.

Paul’s positive alternative to being drunk is to “be filled with the Spirit.” Just as drinking a great deal can cause a person to be controlled by wine, focusing on the Spirit can cause a person to be filled or controlled by the Spirit. However, this control or filling is not being “out of control” in the sense of some highly charismatic display of emotion. The following verses speak instead of sharing psalms, singing, being thankful, and submitting to one another. Being controlled by the Spirit is living in a manner worthy of God’s calling.

Verse 19. addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart,

In verse 18 Paul taught believers to be controlled by the Spirit. How does this look? This verse offers three expressions.

First, Paul mentions “psalms and hymns and spiritual songs.” This could include both reading passages of Scripture aloud, spoken poetry or the singing of music, whether in a small group or larger group of believers. Three types of songs are mentioned. Psalms refer to the Old Testament songs sung by Jews and shared among Christians. Hymns were likely more formal songs, meant to instruct, similar to the one quoted by Paul in verse 14. Spiritual songs may refer to more spontaneous, call and response music. These would be the equivalent to “contemporary” music, following cultural styles, yet focused on God-honoring lyrics. Paul notes all styles of music can be used to honor God as long as God is the focus.

Singing is only occasionally mentioned in the New Testament, but does play an important role in the early church. Paul and Silas sang hymns in prison (Acts 16:25). Paul wrote about singing to the Roman believers (Romans 15:9) to the Corinthians (1 Corinthians 14:15), and to the Colossians (Colossian 3:16). James commanded believers to sing praise to God (James 5:13). Revelation notes expressions of singing (14:3; 15:3–4). Finally, Paul adds “making melody to the Lord with your heart.”

Believers can both sing with the voice, and live with a “song” internally. God instills joy within those controlled by the Spirit.

Verse 20. giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,

In verse 18, Paul instructs believers to be controlled by the Spirit. He frames this in contrast with being controlled by alcohol, naming drunkenness as something Christians are to avoid. Verse 19 offers several expressions of being spiritually filled.

This verse adds another expression, which is an attitude of universal thanksgiving. Being controlled by the Spirit includes gratitude. The Spirit-filled believer is a person who is regularly thankful for what God has done in his or her life.

Notice who we are to thank as Spirit-filled believers: “God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” We don’t simply thank ourselves or other people; we give thanks to God. Both the Father and the Son are recipients of our gratitude through the control of the Spirit. All three persons of the triune God are involved in the ongoing life of the obedient believer.

Interestingly, Paul uses the exact phrase “Lord Jesus Christ” six times in this brief letter (Ephesians 1:2, 3, 17; 5:20; 6:23, 24), emphasizing Jesus as King, God, and Messiah. He both begins (Ephesians 1:2) and ends (Ephesians 6:24) this letter giving top priority to Jesus, as the One above all else.

Verse 21. submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Verses 19 and 20 gave several practical ways in which Christians can express being filled with the Spirit. Here, Paul brings out another, which is mutual submission. Submission in the context of a Christian relationship includes the idea of putting someone else, and their needs, above ourselves. This is not for personal benefit, but rather out of “reverence for Christ.” When we serve others, we serve the Lord (Matthew 25:35–40).

This approach stands in stark contrast with worldly wisdom. In business, the principle is often taught to either put ourselves first, or to help others so that you can benefit. Yet Paul offers a better and higher way, noting that our service to others is service to the Lord. This is an important principle in the church, in the workplace, and, as the following verses will show, in the context of marriage (Ephesians 5:22–33). This is an important part of following the example of Christ, who submitted to the will of the Father and gave Himself as a sacrifice for us.

Verse 22. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

This verse begins a new section, extending through verse 33, on the topic of wives and husbands. Paul has just mentioned the importance of mutual submission between all believers, in verse 21. Here, he specifically applies this principle within the context of marriage.

He begins with wives. Ephesians 5:22–24 is often taken drastically out of context, and grossly misinterpreted. First, wives are to submit to their own husband. Women are not commanded to submit in a similar way to all men. However, all believers are called to practice a form of humble submission to one another, as noted in verse 21.

Second, this principle is applied specifically within marriage. Those in dating relationships, social or employment contexts, or a woman with respect to another woman’s husband are not included. Those male-female relationships do not carry the same level of expectation Paul shares in this verse.

Third, submission is based on being “as to the Lord.” In other words, submission is not based on the character or performance of the other individual. Instead, there is an unconditional treatment of the husband based on love for him and for God. Wives are to show love to their husbands regardless of whether they feel the husband “deserves” it. Though perhaps extremely difficult at times, this is the biblical ideal.

It should also be noted that this deals with marriage, not abuse. Anyone in an abusive situation must seek personal safety as first priority. Nothing in Paul’s teachings, here or elsewhere in the Bible, commands a woman to keep herself or her children physically available for spousal abuse.

Context Summary
Ephesians 5:22–33 is an often-cited but frequently misunderstood passage. Here, Paul explains how Christian husbands and wives should apply their understanding of salvation within their marriage. Wives are commanded to ”submit” to their husbands as they would to Christ, and to show them respect. Often overlooked, however, is that men are equally obligated. Husbands are told to love their wives as Christ loved the church: with humility and sacrifice, as if caring for their own bodies. Despite popular myth, the Bible does not permit either sex to be abusive or unloving within a marriage.

Verse 23. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.

After instructing wives to submit to their husbands in verse 22, Paul provides a spiritual basis for his instruction. He uses the analogy of Christ (the husband) with the church (the wife). Christ loved the church and gave His life for it. Similarly, husbands are to love their wives and be willing to give up their lives on their behalf (Ephesians 5:25–29). Wives are to show devotion to their husbands similar to the church’s call to love the Lord.

Paul also notes the church is Christ’s “body, and [He] is himself its Savior.” Using this analogy, husband and wife are one body (Ephesians 5:31). They are called to live united, serving one another together. It is not about one person being better than the other. Instead, this is mutual submission which honors God and shows love. Jesus, as part of the Trinity, is identical in essence and equal to God the Father. And yet, He is able to submit without becoming “inferior.” This is the model of marital submission which Paul has in view.

Verse 24. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Continuing his discussion from 5:23, Paul continues to parallel submission in marriage with the relationship between Christ and the church. Paul is clear that Jesus is the leader of the church. This has application both for the church as a whole, as well as to those who lead it. Church leaders are ultimately “under-shepherds” who lead others under Christ’s authority.

In addition, Paul notes that submission on the wife’s part includes all aspects of the relationship. This does not mean women are obligated to waive all of their preferences, always doing whatever their husbands wish. Submission, when related to Christ, focuses on showing love and serving Him. Likewise, wives who submit “in everything” are focused on showing love and serving their husbands. A woman who shows this depth of love is considered godly. Proverbs 31:10–31 offers similar traits to describe the principles of a godly wife. Scripture also provides examples of godly wives such as Sarah, Ruth, and Mary who loved the Lord and showed appropriate love to their husbands.

As with verses 22 and 23, these instructions cannot be taken out of the context of verses 25 through 29. Men are called to marital obligations, as well. Specifically, to love their wives the same way Jesus loved the church. This means a sacrificial, humble, loving leadership. Paul is not advocating male dictatorship, or female slavery.

Verse 25. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,

After addressing wives in verses 22 through 24, Paul switches focus to husbands. The first and foremost priority for a godly husband is to love his wife—with a particular emphasis on action. Paul also provides a high standard for the love a husband should express to his wife: the example of Christ for the community of believers. The husband’s love should involve a deep, lifelong commitment and the willingness to make any sacrifices necessary on her behalf.

Husbands are called to a level of dedication which includes love unto death. Though given authority as the leader of the family, the corresponding responsibility is often overlooked. A husband must love his wife, dedicate his life to staying with his wife, and be willing to die for his wife if need be. Women are obligated to submission in marriage (Ephesians 5:22–24), and the modern world often rejects this principle. Nevertheless, the Bible’s standard for husbands could certainly use better application among today’s Christian men, as they seek to be “imitators of God” (Ephesians 5:1).

Verse 26. that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,

The practical reasons husbands are to love their wives are offered in verses 26 and 27. To “sanctify” means to set apart or make holy. A godly husband who shows love for his wife helps her grow spiritually. Also mentioned is the idea of cleansing via a study of Scripture. This appears to include the idea of helping a wife with spiritual growth by mutual discipleship.

What Christian husband would not want his wife to grow spiritually? The desire is there, but the cost is great. To help a wife grow in holy living and biblical understanding involves a level of personal growth. It requires both love for one’s wife and a serious commitment to helping her. And, of course, it requires a husband to be personally committed to serious study of the faith, himself. Many applications exist, but the principle is clear: a wife’s spiritual growth can best be enhanced by a godly husband who shows love to her.

Verse 27. so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

Focusing on Christ’s relationship to the church, Paul notes that Christ’s goal as the church’s husband is to “present the church to himself in splendor.” Christ desires the church to stand before Him in brilliance and triumph. His desire is for believers to one day appear before Him without any flaws or marks or imperfections. Particularly on the wedding day, a bride seeks to look her absolute best for her husband, and Christ wants the church to look its best for Him when that day comes.

The purpose for Christ’s relationship with the church is to bring on greater holiness. The reference to blemishes is not about physical appearance, but about the church being pure before the Lord. To be holy is to be set apart. To be “without blemish” is to be without a mark or problem. This is the same standard the Old Testament required of animals used in sacrificial offerings. They could not have any “blemish.” God desires we come before Him with a clean heart (Psalm 24:4).

Verse 28. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

Just as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:27), husbands should love their wives. In saying this, Paul sets the ultimate standard in comparing the marriage relationship with Christ and the church. Such an attitude makes abuse, mistreatment, or abandonment impossible to justify. In fact, Paul demands that husbands love their wives “as their own bodies.” This includes personal care, time, and provision. A man would not leave his body “unattended” or without care for a great length of time. He should likewise not treat his wife in this manner. The Old Testament even described abandonment by a husband as an act of violence (Malachi 2:16).

It’s important to remember that “love,” as used in the Bible, means much more than simple feelings. It always comes with an expectation of action: of doing good on behalf of that person. This verse uses the Greek root word agape, which refers to a selfless, sacrificial concern for the welfare of someone else.

For that reason, Paul notes that loving one’s wife—through actions—has practical benefits for the husband as well. If a husband desires a better life, he can do so in part by investing more into his own wife. Love expressed to one’s wife certainly offers numerous benefits to a husband, including unity, better parenting, less conflict, less stress, and other factors.

Verse 29. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,

Paul continues his focus on husbands loving their wives. Biblical love always carries an assumption of action: it is never an immobile emotion. One reason Paul gives for husbands to love their wives as themselves is because human nature inevitably pulls us to care for ourselves more readily than for anyone else. Instinctively, a man “nourishes and cherishes” his body. Similarly, the husband should have an instinctive desire to nourish and cherish his wife. This happens in the context of living self-sacrifice, as detailed in verse 25.

Once again, comparison is made with Christ’s relationship with believers. The standard is Christ, not some human relationship which is prone to failure. This includes the idea of continual learning and growth. There is never a point at which a husband can claim he perfectly loves his wife and has no room to improve. Loving one’s wife is a lifelong pursuit that resembles the lifelong pursuit of personal spiritual growth.

Verse 30. because we are members of his body.

Verses 30 and 31 focus on unity. In this verse, the unity mentioned is between Jesus and the church, again using the metaphor of a body made of individual members. Believers are united in Christ and with Christ. Our identity is found in Him. Paul’s intent in this section is to help husbands and wives realize they share a similar “bodily” relationship with one another. They are not two individuals living in the same household; they are now one unit or “one flesh” (Ephesians 5:31).

This concept of one flesh is found in Genesis 2:24 as Adam and Eve are united in marriage. Jesus affirmed this design for marriage in His ministry as well (Matthew 19:5–6; Mark 10:8). Paul elsewhere notes this principle in 1 Corinthians 6:16 to emphasize the need for sexual purity and to flee adultery and prostitution.

As with the rest of Paul’s comments on men and women in marriage, context is critical. Nothing in Paul’s instruction allows for men to be abusers or tyrants within their marriage, despite certain cultures’ desire to justify exactly that. At the same time, these passages leave no room for the opposite attitude: that a woman should expect her husband to bow and scrape to her every whim. There is an expectation of mutual care, selflessness, and spirituality which Paul demands of married couples. When this is lived out, the various problems society creates between husbands and wives naturally dissolve.

Verse 31. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

This verse is a paraphrase of Genesis 2:24. Paul reminds readers that marriage turns two people into “one flesh” or one body or unit. God’s original design for marriage was one man and one woman in lifelong relationship. When asked about divorce, Jesus referred to this same passage to support that marriage is intended as a lifelong relationship (Matthew 19:5–6; Mark 10:8), though the New Testament elsewhere provides some legitimate reasons for divorce. Paul also quotes Genesis 2:24 in 1 Corinthians 6:16, emphasizing purity in Christian sexuality.

Another reason for this verse’s importance is that Paul added a prior biblical principle to support his argument. Though Paul’s letter is inspired revelation, it is further strengthened by its use and consistency with prior revelation. Marriage has been defined for God’s people since the earliest times and was not changed in the early church. Instead, Paul restated this teaching and gave an even higher standard by comparing the marriage relationship with Christ and the church.

Verse 32. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

Paul again uses the term “mystery,” a common word in this letter (Ephesians 1:9; 3:3, 4, 6, 9; 6:19). The mystery he has in mind here is not marriage, but the relationship between “Christ and the church.” It was not revealed—explained—prior to the time of Christ, but it was now clear Jesus had come to offer salvation to all people, making one family of both Jews and Gentiles who believe in Jesus as Savior.

This is a major theme of Paul’s letter to the Christians at Ephesus: that all people are one in Christ. The emphasis is no longer on Jews alone as God’s people; now all who believe in Jesus are saved (Romans 1:16–17). Gentiles are fellow heirs, members of the same body (Ephesians 3:6). Paul calls this mystery “profound” in this verse, a word referring to this principle’s importance to believers in the early church. Still today, we can rejoice that people of all nations, tribes, and languages can be united in Christ (Revelation 7:9).

In the context of marriage, this idea also applies. Paul has just described how wives ought to submit to their husbands as to Christ, and husbands ought to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Here, he connects these threads into the idea that all believers, regardless of race or gender, are equally heirs of God through Jesus Christ.

Verse 33. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Paul concludes his words on marriage in this verse, summarizing with two statements.

First, he repeats the admonition that men should love their wives—meaning in action, not only in emotion—as much as they would themselves. Husbands are to care for their wives with the same concern they show for maintaining their own interests. When husbands love their wives as themselves, they offer a marriage-focused application of the Great Commandment (Matthew 22:34–40).

This flies in the face of humanity’s natural attitude towards men and women. Historically, most societies consider women inferior and less deserving of care than men. Women throughout world history have fared immeasurably better as Christianity replaced paganism. Today, women living in nations with a Christian heritage enjoy far more extensive rights than those living in nations without such a history.

Second, Paul teaches wives to be diligent in showing respect to their husbands. Again, this runs counter to many cultural preferences. Modern society, in particular, seems to revel in the idea of wives who are patronizing, disrespectful, or unreasonable towards their husbands. What some would call “empowerment,” the Bible would consider poison. Mutual love, respect, unity, and submission are the recipe to a God–honoring marriage.

Given that Paul focuses such clear language on the foundation of Christian marriage, it is likely there were troubled marriages among the Ephesian believers. This is not surprising, given that many cultures, especially ancient Rome, taught a concept of marriage drastically out of step with God’s intended plan.

A Christian marriage is not guaranteed to be without problems, yet there are godly solutions. Paul offers hope for those struggling to honor God in marriage, noting the example of Jesus as the standard for those who seek to show greater love between husbands and wives.

End of Chapter 5.

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